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MotherhoodQuiet Time

The Furnace of Motherhood

By March 29, 20158 Comments

“But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.”

-Philippians 2:17 NLT

There’s this debate in parenting circles of where the fine line is of giving yourself to your family without losing yourself in the process. Many blog posts have been written on ‘making time for you’ and ‘putting yourself first sometimes’, because it’s so easy to get burnt out as a parent. This is good advice; after all, you have to put your oxygen mask on first before helping another with their’s, right?

But–the Bible tells us to give all of ourselves to God and His calling for our lives. If His calling is motherhood, then I have to believe that we should give all of ourselves to our families.

I am not the same person I was before I had kids.

But, I don’t lament that.

Ever since I said ‘yes’ to God and leaped off the cliff, He’s been transforming me into the woman He created me to be. The Bible likens this process to refining silver. The metal is put into a burning furnace for a very precise amount of time, for it can easily be ruined if the silversmith leaves it in even a moment too long.

God takes us and burns up all the bad that has tainted us, and it hurts. There are moments when you feel the furnace is too hot, that it’s going to swallow you whole. But your Silversmith knows when to take you out, and He never takes His eyes off of you.

I never wanted to get married and was never entirely sure about having kids. I looked down at stay-at-home moms, thinking they were wasting their lives.

The old me was bitter and selfish; condescending and cruel.

I do not miss her.

I do not wish to go back, even though I am tempted to think I do.

Motherhood is the hardest job I have ever had. It has broken me many times. But it has also made me stronger.

God has been refining me in the furnace of motherhood.

I will happily lay down my life for my family. I will let the old me die, and choose to rejoice about it.

Honestly, I think that’s the secret: rejoicing in losing yourself in your family. Not seeing it as a failure or waste, but as something miraculous and beautiful. Because it’s hard to put others first all the time. But that’s the calling, isn’t it?

And because God is who He is, I now understand that the only way to find myself is to lose myself.

“If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.”

-Matthew 10:39 NLT

I will no longer mourn the woman I lost, but celebrate the woman I am becoming.

I know God won’t stop until I am the masterpiece He destined in the beginning (because we are all His masterpieces). So I will look into the foggy future with joyful anticipation. Because I can’t wait to meet that woman.

Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • Tyler says:

    My goodness I love you so much.

  • Jeanne says:

    Well said cousin.

  • Maria says:

    Very true. So much you don’t realize until you have children of your own.
    I thank God for my incredible Momma.
    You’re doing a wonderful job – keep going. ❤️

    • Nancy says:

      Motherhood…. Beautifully stated Amanda. You can only come to this realization when you are in the fire. You are a wonderful Mother to our Granddaughters & you shall be called blessed.

  • Ricardo says:

    Amanda you are an amazing person and an incredible mother! I am so very proud of you! Children are the truest & most valuable legacy a parent can leave on this earth and you make my life worth more than any riches this world has to offer! Bless you for that!

    And so, as we trust in the Lord with all our hearts, he will make clear our paths and will give us the desires of our hearts, as we continue to love the Lord our God, with all our hearts, mind & soul!

    I love you honey!

  • Suzan says:

    “rejoicing in losing yourself in your family” This is beautiful Amanda. I’ve just had a moment like this today. I’ve been struggling with the stay at home mom concept for quite some time though I love my kids and spending time with them. Today God spoke deeply in my heart how I need to give in/ loose myself for my family so I can find myself, my real meant to be self. Reading your post was so reassuring and inspiring. Thank you:)

    • ajonsson31 says:

      I’m so glad that this was able to encourage you. Being a mom is the hardest job ever! But you rock at it, my friend! I think you are doing an amazing job. Love you ❤

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