Kids say the darndest things, don’t they? I remember saying to my husband when our first kid was a baby, “Oh, I can’t wait until she can talk so we know what she’s thinking”. Oh, how naive I was. Turns out my kids have a LOT on their minds, and it can range from Daleks stealing mouth wash to wondering if our neighbor is ET in disguise, to anything and everything about farts. They can make me cry from laughing so hard but also make me bawl my eyes out with a completely unexpected and way too mature expression of love.
Every January, I make a note in my Google Keep app dedicated to writing down all the hilarious and touching things our kids say throughout each year . I’ve been doing this for 3 years now, and I’m so glad that I have kept up on it because it’s nice to have all of that stuff archived for a rainy day… Like when they’re teenagers and I need to embarrass them, or when their jaws are on the floor after their own kids whip out a sassy remark and need to be reminded of what they would say to us.
Last year I shared our family’s top quotes and decided to make a tradition of it because it was so much fun to read through all the quotes.
I went into it with the intention of picking the top quote of each month, but there were 3 months that I couldn’t pick just one.
To help put these into context, you should know my kids’ ages. Eowyn was 5, Arya was 3, and Laurelyn was 1 (all of their birthdays are in the fall).
So without further ado, I present to you our top 14 family quotes of 2015.
Ary: “I put my mouth wash over here so the monsters wouldn’t get it. But a dalek came to get it, so I pinched it. Then Hulk came and we smashed the dalek! Hulk smashed it like a dalek potato!”
Eowyn: “Is Jesus an alien? Because He doesn’t live on earth, He lives in heaven.”
Me: “Girls it’s sports night at Awana tonight, so you get to wear your Packers stuff!”
Ary: “Um, no thanks.”
Me: “Ok, you just want to wear your regular Awana shirt?”
Ary: “Um, no thanks. I think I’ll just wear naked stuff.”
Me: “Ary, you’re not going to church naked.”
I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and say, “Oof, what is going on with my hair?!”
Eowyn responds, “Yeah, you look really bad.”
Me [about some menial computer thing that wasn’t working] : “Ah! I give up.”
Eowyn: “Mom, do princesses ever give up?”
Eowyn: “Well then you shouldn’t give up either.”
Me: “Laurelyn, get your hand out of your butt; that’s gross.”
Ary: “Yeah; you’ll get pink eye.”
Life advice by Arya: “If you see boogers in your food, then don’t eat it.”
Ary: “I just farted, but you didn’t hear it–you just smell it”
Eowyn: “What were you and Daddy laughing about?”
Me: “Never you mind, kid.”
Eowyn: “Tell me! Or else I’ll turn the TV off!”
Me: “What difference would that make to me? I’m not watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.”
Eowyn: “Because it’ll make the baby scream.”
Ary: “Why are you crying, Mama?”
Me: “Because one of my friends died. So I’m sad.”
Ary: “That’s awful. I’m so sorry, Mama.”
Me: “It’s ok; she was really sick. But now she’s all better.”
Ary: “Yeah. And when you die, you’ll get to see her again.”
Me: “That’s right.”
Ary: “It’s okay to cry Mama. Sometimes, we just cry. And that’s okay.”
Ary: “Mom, I already forgot that man’s name who we met.”
Ary: “Oh, right, Chris. Well what if he was only dressed like a human, but he was really ET?”
While I was out of town and my husband was holding down the fort…
Ary: “But Dad, you don’t know how to make dinner!!”
Me: “Laurelyn has purple in her hair. Arya, why is the baby’s hair purple?”
Arya: “… Welllllll… that’s just how God made Laurelyn”
After wiping her runny nose for the billionth time, Laurelyn declares, “My nose is ew!”
I’m nursing Oswyn while eating dinner. Ary’s baby doll needs to be nursed too. So there we were, 2 mamas nursing our babies while eating dinner. I smile at her and say, “Ary, you are such a good mommy.”
She looks completely unfazed by this compliment and replies, “I know I am. I see you do it every day.”
What’s the funniest or most touching thing your kids have said recently?