Sometimes I wake up already feeling completely drained. It has nothing to do with the 6 hours of broken sleep, and everything to do with the fact that from sunrise to sunset the day before I was meeting the needs of the other 4 people in my house without stopping. I’m not uncaring; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes all of the normal kid noise and Let It Go recitals sends me crying into the fetal position. I know they’re just being kids; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes I simply can. not. talk. anymore. I don’t hate you; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes I sit on the toilet long after I’ve finished peeing just to get away from my kids for a moment. I’m not a bad mom; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes I hide behind the kitchen counter because it’s the only place on our semi-open concept main floor where the kids can’t see me. I’m not neglecting my children; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes I cringe when all 3 of my kids try to snuggle with me at the same time. I’m not a bad mom; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes I just want to be alone. I’m not a hermit; I’m just an introvert.
Sometimes I don’t play with my children, but instead read a book. I’m not a bad mom; I’m just an introvert.
My dear children: I know you don’t understand why mommy sometimes needs space. I know you get your feelings hurt when I say that I don’t want to snuggle right now. I know that you don’t have any volume control, so it’s unfair of me to ask you to be quiet so often. I know you don’t understand why I can’t play with you when all I’m doing is reading a book. It’s not because I don’t love you, or your songs, or your cuddles, or your games. Mommy is just made a little differently. I need a little bit of space from time to time in order to recharge my batteries. Mommy is just an introvert, trying to find room to breath in a house that is always full of other people.
But since I am an introvert, I am a people watcher and an empathizer. When others are unable to understand you, I will. When you need help working through big, hard feelings, I will be able to walk you through it. When you have days when you are sad and just need to be alone, I will close your door and be your guard, making sure everyone else gives you the space you need. I will love you ferociously and most loyally, so long as there is breath in my lungs. Because I am an introvert.