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On our private Facebook pages, my husband and I frequently share what we call the ‘Quote of the Day’. We don’t post one a day; more like 2-4 a month. But kids say the darndest things and we as parents have had to say the most ridiculous things in response to the pure insanity that is our children. On top of posting random things we say on Facebook, I also keep a list of all of our quotes in a Google Keep note on my phone. In light of starting a new year, I thought it would be fun to go back and pick my favorite quote from each month and share them with all of you.

As you read through this, keep my kid’s ages in mind, because it makes it even funnier. Eowyn was 4, Ary was 2, and Laurelyn was under a year.

So without further ado, I present to you the best quotes from my crazy family. Just for fun, I’m using this as an opportunity to share our hilarious Christmas card picture with you too. Well, what would have been our Christmas card picture if I had sent out cards…

Best Family Christmas Card

January:

Eowyn: “Arya, come here. Sit down. Ok, look at me. Now, I need to talk to you about something. You need to stop getting into stuff all the time. Because that doesn’t help Mom and Dad. You need to help Mom and Dad, ok? You just need to, you know, stop destroying things, and breaking things. Ok? Pinky promise?”

Ary: “O-tay Sissy. Pinky pamise!”

February:

Ary:  “ET is steelweeing my candy [translation: ‘stealing’]!”

March:

Me: “Ok guys, we’re only going into Target for toothpaste & marshmallows. No getting distracted; we need to get in and get out.”

Eowyn: “That’s it? Only 2 things we need? That’s incredible!”

April:

While we are calming a frightened Eowyn down during bedtime, Ary turns in her bed to face us and says, “Dat’s enough; no more talkting. I not in da mood.”

We all burst out laughing, and Ary retorts, “No, I seewreous. I not in da mood [translation: ‘serious’].”

May:

Eowyn: “Mom, I don’t really like the black parts.”

Me: “Neither do I; I burned the bread on accident.”

Eowyn: “Yeah, you do that all the time.”

Me: “No I don’t!”

Eowyn: “Well, sometimes you always do that.”

June:

Our baby monitor has a walkie talkie function, so we can talk to the kids through it. This conversation happened over the monitor:

Eowyn: “MOOOOMMMMMMM!!! ARYA THROWED MY POOH BEAR ON THE FLOOR AND I CAN’T SLEEP WITHOUT HIM!!”

Me: “Arya, don’t do stuff like that. You need to get your sister’s Pooh Bear, give it back to her and say ‘sorry’.”

I hear Ary bounce out of bed and throw Pooh Bear at Eowyn. Then she says:

“Too bad; so sad!”

July:

While driving, Eowyn sees a bird riding the wind. She gets excited and insists that everyone looks at it. Tyler then begins explaining that the bird is soaring, kind of like a kite.

Then Ary chimes in:

“Yeah! Likt a dinosaur dat eats people and kiwlls dem [translation: ‘like a dinosaur that eats people and kills them’]! “

August:

Ary: “Eowyn I going tah kill you in tha face ecuz you not listening tah me!”

September:

Mom: “That’s why God gave us families: so we can always have someone to be crazy with.”

Ary: “Yeah, but sometimes you wanna be awone [translation: ‘alone’].”

October:

We lost my Grandpa this month. Our oldest daughter, Eowyn said this prayer in the days following his passing:

“And my dear Lord, please for Great Grandpa to feel better and not be sick anymore with you. And please for Papa to always have his daddy in his heart.”

November:

Yaya [my mom] : “Isn’t it fun being a girl?”

Eowyn: “Yeah, and girls don’t have things sticking out of their who-whos.”

December:

Ary: “Daddy when I growed up, I wanna marry you, betause you amazing.”

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