Waiting is the single hardest thing God asks us to do. We can be a bit hyper sometimes; we are always looking for something to do to keep our forever spinning minds busy. When I took the leap and told God ‘I will follow You’, it seemed like the next step should be something big. Like ‘move to Africa and start churches’ big. Because that’s the crazy stuff God asks people to do, right? Yes…and no. In fact I will dare to say that for the majority of people, the answer would be no.
Do you want to know the first thing that God asked my husband and I to do?
Wait, and continue to hold on to the faith that we were doing what God wanted us to do.
Wait as people around us asked over and over, “What are you guys doing with your life?”
Wait as everyone around us watched and wondered when we were going to get it together.
Anyone who has ever waited for something can attest to how difficult it is. Every bit of you is screaming for you to do something, anything to help speed things along. But that would be taking things into your own hands; trying to take control again because deep down, you suddenly don’t trust God with your life 100% because walking with God doesn’t look the way you expected it to. And every time you cry out to God, He’s silent. So you’re confused, and the enemy sneaks in and whispers doubt into your ear, “Maybe you got it wrong to begin with. Maybe this isn’t what God wanted you to do after all. Maybe you made a big mistake.”
But you didn’t make a mistake. God is just asking you to wait. Wait while full of hope that God is doing something in the waiting. You won’t feel it or see it, but God is working on your behalf. He is also making you stronger in the waiting. Knowing this won’t make the waiting any easier, but it will keep those lies at bay so that you don’t lose strength and give up.
We are in yet another season of waiting. This one has been the hardest. Never in my life have I felt so broken. This season of waiting has pushed me to my knees countless times. I’ve cried out to God so many times that some days, I don’t even have words to string into prayers. Sometimes, all I can offer up are incoherent sobs.
In search of my verse of the day this morning, I came across this verse in the Message translation:
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”
-Romans 8: 26-28
Always when I least expect it, God reaches out to me to tell me that He sees me and has not abandoned me. The Holy Spirit takes up my incoherent sobs and prays for me when I don’t have the strength to come up with the right words to say.
God is praying for me.
How could I give up hope when God Himself is praying for me?
Even though this part of the journey has been hard, it will not always be like this. This is but the single chapter of a much larger book, for I know God has more in store for us. Moreover, I know that it will be good.
So, I will continue to wait.