I was very excited when I took this picture because it was taken after I realized that despite my 38 week pumpkin bump, I could still zip up my jacket. Mind you the jacket is a crop fit, but still–made me feel good about myself. Here’s a better bump picture, which was taken on Wednesday:
I’m horribly grumpy about this whole pregnant thing now, however. My instinct is to keep this post short and sweet by saying this: I’m still pregnant, I’m not happy about the fact that I’m still pregnant, and my mood will progressively get worse until I am no longer pregnant. But, there was a lot more to the story of this week than my bad mood. So in the name of good story telling, here it goes.
Last Sunday, we had a splendid afternoon outside enjoying the beautiful mid 50’s fall weather. We raked up the few leaves that we had in our yard into a pile and let the girls have at it. They had a blast!
Wednesday was Baby Ary’s 2nd birthday. I figured that I would be tempting fate a bit too much if I tried to plan a big party for her 2 weeks before my due date, so we decided to throw the girls a combination party on Eowyn’s birthday in November. She didn’t get a first birthday party though because it was scheduled 2 weeks before we moved across the country and we all got sick with a stomach flu from hell. We were forced to cancel it and couldn’t reschedule because the next weekend was ‘pack the moving van up’. It was heart breaking and I’m still upset about it to this day. So even though we weren’t planning a party for her actual birthday, we still wanted to make it special for her. We hung some streamers around the house and blew up 30 balloons to fill up the living room. I made chocolate chip Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes from scratch for breakfast, we took her to Denny’s for lunch (her favorite place, tied with McDonald’s), went to a pumpkin patch, had pizza for dinner, and I made her a chocolate with marshmallow buttercream pink Elmo cake (she LOVES marshmallows). On top of all that, we also got her an Elsa dress in her size (she’s been tripping around in Eowyn’s up until now) and a stroller for her dolls, which has been in constant use ever since (and which I also got at Goodwill for $4!). Let me tell you–she was one happy toddler!
Of course it wouldn’t truly be Baby Ary’s cake if she didn’t get into it beforehand.
I was so beat by the end of the day. I am so glad that we didn’t attempt a big party, because it would have been way too much for me right now. By the time we were having our pizza dinner, I started having contractions. They lasted for a full 24 hours, and they were pretty good ones. But they were inconsistent and never grew in intensity; just more prep work. As we were gathering the girls for bed that night though, I felt a distinct pressure. Forgive my bluntness, but I actually turned to Tyler and said, “I swear the baby has it’s foot down my vagina.”
The next day I had an OB appointment, and it turns out that although it wasn’t a foot, it was a head–baby is head down and engaged. I’m also 2-3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. My doctor said the water bag is really low as well. She was really surprised by the progress that was made in a week. She doesn’t expect me to make it to my appointment next week, but I’ve heard that before.
All this really means is that I am thoroughly uncomfortable. Having a baby’s head stuck in your pelvis feels exactly like it sounds–awful. There is no such thing as a comfortable position for me at this point. I managed to somehow gain 4 pounds since last week, which I chalk up to water retention because I have had major swelling problems out of nowhere. Suddenly my wedding ring is too tight on my sausage fingers and cankles are a daily occurrence. Sitting for longer than 30 minutes makes my arms tingle and my hips tighten up, standing for longer than 30 minutes flares up the cankles and makes my feet tingle, and laying down is just about the most painful position for my hips (baby’s head probably to blame).
This is the hard part. I’ve never been good at waiting; especially when I’m in so much discomfort. Even though this is my 3rd go around, I still feel just as confused and frustrated as I did the first time. Friday evening I had contractions every 1:45 minutes for 2 1/2 hours. They were stronger than Braxton-Hicks; I could even feel the top of my uterus tighten with each one. I’ve had timeable contractions twice before, and both times I was in active labor. My practice pre-labor contractions have always been inconsistent. So naturally, I was inclined to think that I was in the early stages of active labor. Especially since I had had a 24 hour marathon of good contractions the day before. Obviously, I was wrong. It makes you feel stupid, which is frustrating. I guess just like every pregnancy is different, so is every labor. This one will be different than the other two, which means that all my experience is completely useless.
I want to be able to do something to help it along. To feel like I have some sort of control over what’s happening. I nearly drove myself and everyone around me mad when I got to this point with Eowyn. I tried every labor inducing trick there was to try and ended up just making myself miserable because none of it worked. When I was pregnant with Arya, I made the decision to give it up to God and not try to take matters into my own hands, but let things happen the way they were supposed to. I’ve wisely made the same decision this time around as well. There’s no use trying to control something that is completely out of your hands. You’ll just drive yourself crazy trying. The baby will come when it’s time for it to come. This part of having children has been the ultimate lesson in patience and humility. I know that God is with me and that He sees my frustration, for He gives me encouragement just when I need it. Like in the ‘Verse of the Day’ that’s now on my white board:
And in my devotional:
Every day, I will fight the urge to be frustrated and upset and will instead wait patiently for God’s perfect timing to unfold.
I will focus on my awesome girls that bless me with love every day.
I will focus on my husband, who is the best support and is the only one who can get me to laugh despite my grumpy mood.
I will focus on the beauty that God has painted all around me.
And I will focus on the promise of a tomorrow that is full of wonderful surprises that have been carefully laid out for me by the Creator.
-Baby is about 6.8 pounds and around 19 1/2 inches long (about the length of a leak)
-Organs are mature and ready for life outside of the womb (in other words–you can get out of me now)
My sister’s coming out from California on Thursday and will be staying with us for a week. I am so excited to see her! And hopefully, Henderson will make his/her debut 🙂